Satire | Rihanna, No More Indian Shaadis For Your Needs. Stop Meddling!

“RiRi, may we recommend a masterclass in desi patriotism that traces all mistakes ever produced in India back into Nehru?”

(Disclaimer: it is a work of satire.)

Rihanna did the unthinkable. She had the temerity to provoke

‘shine such as a diamond’ ‘bharatiya ratna’, winner of three awards that are national Bollywood Queen — Kangana Ranaut. How dare the singer tweet her support for farmers’ protests!

RiRi had been meant to regret it instantly. Ms Ranaut shut her down just like the Web in Delhi NCR through the clashes that are police-farmer. Yet not before providing Rihanna an accident program on democracy by trivialising human liberties issues and dismissing dissenting voices as ‘Chinese agents’.

Just Ms Ranaut has endowed on by by herself the honour of sitting for a horse that is high dismissing the agitating farmers as ‘terrorists’, dying to divide Asia like pizza pieces.

She gets to regulate how they have been designed to experience regulations that provide more agency to corporates than farmers. Most likely, agitating voices are only ‘wild thoughts!’

Twitter Reacts as Rihanna Tweets About Farmers Protest

Rihanna, You’re Asking The Incorrect Qs. Here’s What You Need To Be Tweeting About

But Rihanna must not for the moment think she’s free to tweet about Asia from her high horse.

Because the woman continues to be in the dark about do’s and don’ts, right here’s a listing she should stay away from:

• The protestors whom passed away on Delhi boundaries.
• The village Asia has generated 4.5kms inside Indian territory.
• A comedian, Munawar Faruqui, that is languishing in prison for a tale he never cracked.
• Pinjra Tod activist, Natasha Narwal, who can continue steadily to stay in prison for public violence she did not incite.
• Therefore a number of other individual legal rights activists and social employees.

Here’s just exactly just what Rihanna should tweet about. What makes Indians rushing down to Maldives and never Barbados for Instagrammable holiday pictures? Why did Jahangir provide East Asia the permit to trade in Asia? Melody itnee chocolatey kyon baani?

Yet this ‘not a Padma Shri awardee’ thought we would shed tears that are crocodile terrorists parked at Singhu edge like obsolete sarkari Ambassador automobiles and waiting around for Asia to colonise us.

Dekho Rihanna, it really is apparent that too quarantining that is much fogged up https://essaywriters.us/ the human brain.

May we recommend ‘work work work’ or a masterclass in desi patriotism that traces all errors manufactured in India’s geography and history to Nehru?

Or we’re able to cause you to stay for Kamdhenu Gau-vigyan Prachar Prasar Pareeksha to check out silver into the milk

desi cows squirt, while whispering nothings that are sweet their ear.

Its pretty evident you will be woefully unaware which our federal federal federal government could be the thing that is best to possess occurred to Bharat since Lord Rama.

Kangana Called Out for Calling Farmers ‘Terrorists’ & Rihanna Fool

Dear RiRi, Exactly Just What Have You Done? Now Also Mia Khalifa’s Standing With Your Farmers!

Rihanna, you’ve got already done us much harm and gotten the whole world to share one thing apart from Trump and Biden. Sidetracked Greta Thunberg from melting caps that are polar shrinking woodlands and seeking angrily at globe leaders.

Now Kangana that is poor will compelled to provide a thumbs right down to Thunberg. Ask her to exert effort on her anger administration issue. View good old movie that is fashioned ‘Shakalaka Boom Boom’ with a pal and chill.

Dear RiRi, your time and effort to destabilise India from your own mansion in London will force us to snatch your ‘umbrella ella ella, eh eh’ away away from you. No longer dancing at Indian weddings for your needs. Particularly the big fat ones in Asia. You have ‘hit your toe with your personal hammer’.

You, we humbly advise you to please take back your meddling foreign hand and let us criminalise protests, beat up university students, incarcerate stand-up comics and upright journalists, in peace while we continue our efforts to discredit.

You will get within our method of letting lapdogs grow.

Hai Ram, look everything you’ve done! Now it is Mia Khalifa standing with this farmers!

Sit back, you trick. Kangana will be at Mia’s home to call her a ‘chudail’. With no card that is aadhaar you, Mia.

(an instructor not too sometime ago, Purba Ray took to composing for a whim after making her work. She’s got a viewpoint on almost every thing, reality or fiction, beginnings or ends, light or heavy, long or brief. She tweets at @Purba_Ray. It is a individual web log and the views expressed would be the author’s own. The Quint neither endorses nor accounts for them.)

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